A Little Lumberjane Christmas - A Poem
by ddp456
Summary: When Wendy loses her Christmas Spirit, she is visited by none other than St. Nick himself. What she doesn't realize is that Santa doesn't take kindly on those who take such matters lightly... Based on a concept by Wolf90. Artwork by Codylabs


_It was Christmas Eve and time to deck the halls,  
in the podunk town called Gravity Falls.  
Weirdmageddon had pass, its horrors thankfully gone,  
bringing peace back to the sleepy state of Oregon._

 _Its natural weirdness seemed to had taken a pause,  
as the whole town awaited the arrival of ol' Santa Claus.  
Stockings were hung and trees were dressed really bright.  
From a distance, the whole town looked like a giant Christmas light._

 _Families were brought together, and friends would come and unite,  
proving enough Christmas cheer can make anything right.  
But one unfortunate soul didn't see things that way.  
She sat on a rooftop, watching nightfall rise up from the passing day.  
Who was this person, seemingly unaffected by Christmas joy?  
Why, it's the Lumberjack Princess, Wendy Corduroy!_

 _Wendy hidden herself away at the top of the Mystery Shack,  
as the brutal winter winds blew away at her back.  
She didn't mind the cold, save for the tips of her boot-covered toes,  
and the feeling of frost nipping away at her stubby little nose.  
Wendy wanted a safe place to brood and mope and think,  
as she sipped from a thermos of hot cocoa, her favorite winter drink._

 _She had gotten out of her dad's apocalypse training by lying about work.  
She avoided Soos's Mystery Shack staff party by saying it wasn't her quirk.  
The rest of the town was swept away in the Christmas action,  
as McGucket threw a huge celebration in what was once the Northwest Mansion.  
Her friends Tambry, Lee, Nate, and Thompson begged her to come.  
Wendy refused. "No thanks. It sounds kinda dumb."_

 _Even the Pines twins made their own attempt.  
An offered trip to Piedmont, California only added to Wendy's contempt.  
Wendy turned down their invitation, hoping Mabel and Dipper wouldn't shed a tear.  
"Sorry, guys. Maybe we'll see next year."_

 _All Wendy wanted was to be left alone with her pain.  
Why did the world make it feel like she was insane?  
To her loved ones, she didn't want to seem like a grouch,  
but because of all the lies she told, Wendy couldn't even go back to her own couch._

 _Wendy's wandering mind instantly came to a halt,  
as she could hear crushed snow beneath a heavy foot fault.  
She sprang into action, her ninja-like moves were so slick.  
Wendy couldn't believe her eyes, "Holy crap! It's St. Nick!"_

 _Santa Claus stood before Wendy in all his glory.  
The red outfit and fuzzy beard definitely matched the often-heard stories.  
Despite her older age, Wendy didn't doubt her own eyes.  
After all, this was Gravity Falls, where the weirdos loved to hide!_

 _Wendy asked, "Santa, no offense, but what are you doing here?  
Shouldn't you be posing on soda cans with a cute polar bear?  
Don't you have, like, a zillion presents to give out today?  
I won't bother you. You can be on your way!"_

 _Santa laughed. "You need not worry. My deeds with get their well due.  
But tonight, dearest Wendy, I've come to speak with you.  
It makes Santa sad to see you so blue.  
Your Christmas spirit I intend to renew.  
So, come join me this night.  
Give me a chance to help make things right.  
By Christmas Morn, I make this promise so true,  
your outlook on Christmas will gain a new view."_

 _"Thanks for the invite, Santa." Wendy scoffed at the plan so bland.  
She sat back down in the snow, "But, yeah, a hard pass from me, my man."_

 _With her back turned, Wendy was definitely out of range,  
to see "Jolly ol' St. Nick" undergo a sudden change.  
His famous smile faded into a frown turned amiss,  
as his opened, gloved hands turned into enraged fists._

 _"Young lady," Santa said without as much as raising his voice.  
"I'm afraid you don't understand. I'm not giving you a choice."_

 _"WHA – "_

 _Before she knew it, Wendy was tackled to the ground,  
She punched, scratched, and kicked, but in the end, was helplessly bound.  
Left in a hogtie, Wendy could only look around,  
the identity of her attackers made her let out a disgusted sound.  
"The gnomes from the woods?! This can't be right!  
Why are you bugging me on Christmas Eve night?  
And what's the deal with the elf uniforms?  
What's your beef? I thought you reformed?"_

 _Jeff the gnome stepped up, since the other gnomes weren't very social.  
"Sorry, kid. It's just business. I swear this isn't personal.  
We gnomes need extra scratch for these long winter seasons,  
and the big man likes to outsource. Need there be a better reason?"_

 _"HO HO HO! Well done, my boys!" Santa heaved with huge amounts of joy.  
"Please place Miss Corduroy in my big sack of toys!  
For a job well done, expect a little extra in your checks.  
Consider it a gracious extension of my respect."  
_

 _The gnomes cheered as they started to drag Wendy away.  
Their redheaded captive did everything she could to stay.  
She pulled and tugged and screamed with all of her might,  
but the ropes holding her were simply way too tight._

 _"You can't do this to me!" Wendy yelled. "I have rights!  
What's the matter, Santa? Too scared to fight your own fights?  
You know against me, you'd have no such luck!  
For the last time, let me go, ya fat fu – MMPH!"_

 _The angry ginger's potty mouth was hurting the simple gnomes' brains,  
so they decided to gag her with a candy cane.  
From her lips, Wendy couldn't get the sticky treat to waver.  
The only positive in all this was that it was mint-flavored._

 _They tossed Wendy into the oversized bag, usually filled with cheer.  
She let out a muffled cry, landing hard on her derriere.  
The sack's top was then tied off, robbing Wendy of all light,  
as Santa and prisoner sailed away well into the night._

 _Hours felt like seconds until the sack's top was undone.  
Wendy sprang up from the bag. This was her chance to run!  
Her ropes and candy cane gag had disappeared.  
The road in front of her had been perfectly cleared.  
Before Wendy could take one step, a sturdy hand clamped onto her shoulder.  
She turned to find Santa, about two seconds away from scolding her._

 _"Welcome, Wendy," he greeted, "to my humble abode.  
I wouldn't bother fleeing, for there's nowhere to go.  
We're at the North Pole, far away from civilization.  
This is my workshop. Call it my own private nation.  
Your cell phone won't work. All internet access is password-protected.  
My best advice is for you to do what you're directed.  
Now, join me, won't you? The next room is pretty fine.  
I really want you to see my toy assembly line."_

 _Wendy sighed. There wasn't anything she could do.  
What if Santa's words were absolutely true?  
The best course of action was to play along with the part,  
and trick the geezer that she had a change of heart.  
The two walked down and across a large loading bay  
while Santa's nine reindeer happily ate their servings of hay._

 _Santa led Wendy to the toy assembly line,  
when the annoyed teen let out a whine.  
"I don't mean to be rude, but I'm telling you, I can't stay.  
Can't you just leave coal in my stocking, and send me on my way?"_

 _"HO-HO-HO!" Santa chuckled. "Why, Wendy, you're such a kidder!  
You can't lie to Santa. I must insist you reconsider.  
I know alone in the dead of winter is what you'd prefer.  
But in this case, I really cannot concur.  
There are reasons to my seemingly harsh way.  
I promise you'll reflect fondly on it one day._

 _Wendy crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue.  
"I really doubt that, you kidnapping pile of cow dung!"_

 _Santa beaded his eyes, as he tried to stay reserved.  
"Maybe it's time to get what you deserve.  
With that negative attitude of yours – and your bad behavior.  
Santa's got the way to curb that. How about some hard labor?!"_

 _With a hard push, Wendy nearly crashed into the conveyor belt.  
She looked around to see the hand she'd been dealt.  
An army of elves stood neatly in line,  
they slaved and worked tirelessly to finish their projects in time.  
An endless supply of toys, games, and electronics flew by at frenzied rates,  
to order to reach children in every country, province, and state._

 _"Whoa!" Wendy noticed. "Those aren't the gnomes. These elves are real!"  
"Of course they are," Santa prided. "Back home, this job needs the real deal!  
Who else could deliver such gifts with speed and joy?  
They pull out all the stops so each child gets a toy.  
These wondrous folks are able to look past their own wants and needs,  
to bring Christmas cheer by doing good deeds.  
Such is the lesson I expect you to learn tonight.  
So, jump right in and help, and please don't put up a fight!"_

 _Wendy stepped up to the belt, finding that she was way too tall.  
"Hey, how can I help? These tools were made for someone super small!"_

 _"Hmm…" Santa stroked his beard.  
"By George, you're right! Why didn't I see it before?"  
The old man snapped his fingers. "There! Now, you can easily do your chore!"_

 _With a blink of her eye, Wendy had shrunk by half.  
She was horrified to see that she barely reached Santa's calf.  
Her lumberjack outfit and thick winter coat,  
were now a dorky, striped one piece, and curled shoes that looked like boats.  
Dipper's pine-tree cap became a cute matching hat with bell tips.  
Her long copper hair turned pigtails made her lose her grip._

 _"AHH!" Wendy shrieked as she felt her now-pointed ears.  
"Change me back!" She demanded. "Don't think I can't kick your chunky rear!"_

 _Santa used one hand to hold back the pint-sized, fist-swinging threat.  
"Oh, give it up, kid. Just look at me! I'm not even breaking a sweat!  
All this protesting is really getting you nowhere.  
Help the elves with the toys, and I'll think about changing you back. I swear.  
Only when your Christmas spirit is revived, will you be allowed to go home.  
I'll leave you be now. Santa's got better things to do than listen to you drone."_

 _Santa took his leave, when he stopped after a few paces.  
"I hate to do this to you, but to be honest, I'm really too old for chases."  
He snapped his fingers once more, the room echoed with a click.  
Wendy looked down, "What's this? Another one of your tricks?"_

 _A metal tether was placed around her ankle, meant to hold her in place.  
Wendy couldn't run away or jump. She could barely walk around or pace.  
"You think you got me, old man?" Wendy bragged. "I'll be outta here super-quick."  
She reached under her hat, "As soon as I find my lock – "_

 _"Looking for these?"_

 _Santa flashed a grin, displaying Wendy's trusty lockpicks in his hand.  
"That's right, kiddo. Santa knows all your secrets. That's why he's the man!"  
Wendy was left speechless as her captor soon disappeared from sight.  
She pulled on her chain with all her might.  
The freckled elf tugged and yanked and fought against the shackle,  
but every escape attempt resulted in a painful ankle tackle._

 _Now faced with no other choice, Wendy turned around to accept her fate.  
She grabbed a toy off the assembly line and followed alongside with her elven mates.  
But after a few minutes, Wendy found the task to be a bore.  
She elbowed the nearest working elf neighbor, "So, what are you in for?"_

 _The tiny elf stared at Wendy in a confused state.  
"I don't think you understand. We elves choose our own fate.  
We each have free will. Santa doesn't force us to stay.  
All of us volunteer here. We don't even ask for any pay!"_

 _Wendy looked around at the other elves workers walking around scot-free.  
She was the only one chained down to the heavy machinery._

 _"Then, I don't get it." Wendy asked. "Why do you do all this?"  
The elf replied, "Because the end result is truly pure bliss.  
Seeing the happy, smiling faces of the grateful girls and boys,  
it's what powers our great quest. It brings us great joy!"_

 _Wendy grew more curious. "But how can you see all of these things?  
There's too many to see and they're so far away. Are you just pulling my strings?"_

 _"Watch…"_

 _Wendy grew silent as from the assembly wall came something new.  
From a small crack, some kind of electrical portal grew.  
The portal shifted from different planes into a whole new world.  
Before Wendy's emerald eyes, did the elf's story unfurled._

 _A little girl knelt on the side of her bed,  
praying to the powers that be to watch over her loved ones' heads._

 _"That's little Clara," introduced Wendy's new friend.  
"She volunteers to take care of her grandma, helping around the house to no end.  
Even though her family has little money for presents, she gives them little grief.  
For this, we're giving her a special dollie to provide her some well-needed relief."_

 _A new item flew down the conveyor belt at rocket speeds.  
Dozens of elven hands rushed to give it the details it needs.  
A blonde, huggable doll was the final result.  
Its design was truly perfect. There wasn't anything possible to insult.  
It flew off the line and into Santa's bag in an almost magical way,  
and soon, into Clara's awaiting arms on Christmas Day._

 _"I have to admit," Wendy's mood began to lighten.  
"That was really neat." She no longer felt like fighting._

 _"Then, why don't you give it a shot," the elf did suggest.  
"You're part elf now. You can do it. Try your best!"_

 _Wendy began to picture a child in need,  
someone who was indeed worthy of the elves' creed.  
She opened her eyes and gasped aloud,  
as Wendy was soon presented with her very own cloud.  
The other elves murmured and gathered around,  
to see what child Wendy's mind had found._

 _The image became clear, displaying a teenage boy in punk clothing.  
His hair was blue. His jeans were torn and holey. But man, was his attitude loathing.  
The teen was with his mother, doing some late holiday shopping.  
But to Wendy's shock, she could make out some swears dropping.  
"No, Mom, you moron! What were you thinking?  
Are you always this dumb, or have you been possibly drinking?  
I said I wanted Super Linguini Bros. 3, not Part 2!  
Man, I honestly can't believe I'm related to you!"_

 _As the image in the portal faded away,  
Wendy's blood boiled, perhaps more than anytime that day.  
The boy's expected present had appeared before her, half-finished.  
But her budding Christmas spirit had been quickly diminished.  
She picked up the video game machine, and threw it over her shoulder.  
Wendy let out a chuckle as her insight became ever bolder.  
All of the elves were shocked and frozen in pause,  
as the now-wrecked toy landed at the feet of Santa Claus._

 _Wendy spun around in horror. She knew an apology would be way too late.  
This latest outburst would surely seal her fate._

 _Instead, he approached Wendy without a sign of anger and rage.  
Santa rubbed his bearded chin, knowing he had to take from another page.  
"Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way.  
We need to go inside to find why you despise Christmas Day."_

 _He stepped up to Wendy, who was still stuck in place,  
and placed his black glove over her freckled face._

 _"What are you doing?" She tried to pull away. "Stop being a creep!  
Get your stinking hand off me! I can't see a peep!"_

 _Santa removed his hand, and Wendy was now filled with a sense of dread.  
She had been warped to a dark room with a yellow light hanging ahead.  
"Hello?" Wendy called out, no longer shackled. "Is anyone there?"  
"Sorry!" A new voice answered. "I'm on my way. I had to finish my hair!"_

 _A purple and pink glow invaded the darkened space.  
Wendy entered a fighting stance, just in case.  
The small ball became a pixie, straight out of a fable.  
"Weird." Wendy noted. "You kinda look like my friend, Mabel."_

 _The brunette fairy gave off a familiar smile,  
"Hey, there! Welcome! I hope you stay awhile.  
Beyond this point, lie the doors three.  
They represent Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Yippee!  
Each door will take you to a different point in time on Christmas Day.  
By journey's end, we'll learn the real reason of why you feel this way."_

 _Wendy shrugged, "It isn't like I have any choice."  
The pixie agreed and waved, "No, not really. Just follow my voice!  
If you need anything, I'll be your busy bee!  
All you need to do is shout, "Hey, Christmas Fairy!""_

 _The fairy led Wendy to the door labelled, "Christmas Past."  
She opened the door, "Come on! This will be a blast!"  
Wendy was reluctant, but did what the sprite asked.  
The redhead couldn't believe it! She was now ten years in the past!_

 _They stood in a better version of the Corduroy household,  
one that hadn't been yet damaged by Manly Dan's tantrums left uncontrolled.  
In the farthest corner of a somewhat messy kitchen,  
a super-tall, redheaded woman baked cookies as her pigtailed daughter pitched-in.  
The child was covered in white flour from head and toe,  
and her chubby, little fingers were caked in sticky dough.  
But the deed was finally done. Into the oven, the cookies went in.  
The mother tightly hugged her baby, looking over her proudly with a grin.  
"I'm so proud of you, my little one. You perfectly made my recipe:  
Chocolate-frosted Christmas trees with just a pinch of sesame.  
One day, you'll be able to do it alone. Maybe to impress some lucky boy,  
or when you have a family of your own, my dearest Wendy Corduroy."_

 _The little girl held her mother even tighter,  
her hidden anxiety and social fears became a tad bit lighter._

 _"Mama…"_

 _The Christmas Fairy watched the heartwarming scene with glee.  
"How adorable!" She turned around, finding something unexpectedly.  
Wendy had turned away from the memory, as she hugged her own shoulders.  
"Can we get out of here, please? This all is getting older and older."_

 _The pixie sighed, as she waved the memory away.  
"Maybe we can find something even better here in present day."  
Wendy followed the fairy to the next Christmas door,  
"Are we almost done? I'm not gonna lie. This is becoming a chore."_

 _The fairy reached the large door, marked with label, "Present,"  
so that Wendy could bear witness to ongoing Christmas events.  
This time, she was presented with not one window, or two, but three!  
On her left side, Wendy could make out a familiar, half-broken Christmas tree.  
The Gift Shop of the Mystery Shack was decorated with green and red.  
A nearby buffet table held quite an awesome spread!_

 _The new Mr. Mystery, Soos, stood at the counter with elbows resting.  
His saddened face was downright depressing.  
Melody, his girlfriend and partner at the Mystery Shack,  
suddenly snuck behind him and gave him a hug-attack.  
"Hey, why so glum, big guy?" she wondered.  
"Gee, Melody." Soos lamented. "This party was nothing but a blunder.  
Everybody went to that McGucket shindig instead.  
With the way things are going, maybe I should have stayed in bed.  
Even Wendy, who works here, couldn't even bother to attend,  
Let's face it, this idea was nothing but a dead end."_

 _Melody lowered her head against Soos's shoulder fat,  
"Oh, don't be silly. Just you forget about that!  
They can have their stupid party. Let them be.  
We'll have our own little Christmas; just you and me!  
And don't mind Wendy. You know she doesn't mean to hurt you.  
Besides, with us alone, we can make our Christmas a bit more "blue.""_

 _The couple's lips met as they shared a Christmas kiss,  
though Wendy turned her head and quickly dismissed.  
"Okay! Moving on!" She fled the scene with swift feet,  
though she secretly thought the moment was sorta sweet._

 _The middle window allowed Wendy to view the snow-covered woods,  
as four burly soldiers followed a path, their heads covered in hoods.  
Wendy easily recognized those running around in the dead of winter making noise,  
It was her father, Manly Dan, and her brothers, the Corduroy boys!_

 _Marcus, Kevin, and Gus followed along with dear old Dad,  
"Keep going!" Dan barked. "Onwards, my beefy lads!  
Those monsters this summer were only the beginning!  
We'll practice and train day and night to make sure we keep winning!"_

 _The youngest boy, Gus, started to complain,  
"How'd Wendy get out of this? She's totally to blame!  
She said she couldn't come because of work?  
Yeah, right! She's full of it! What a jerk!"_

 _It was then when Manly Dan came to a stop.  
The boys crashed into his mighty form, and dropped.  
He stuck a finger in his smallest son's face.  
"You watch your tongue, boy! Don't be a disgrace!"  
That girl beat the odds and surprised us all,  
She helped saved this town from its ultimate downfall.  
Wendy's proven herself to me. My stone-cold heart she had won,  
I only wish she was here to show you boys how to get the job done!  
But my girl's not here, so us four will have to do.  
We'll work together on this blessed day to show the world that Corduroys rule!"_

 _The boys rallied around their father's battle cry,  
and Wendy watched them march without batting an eye.  
"Don't think I'm not touched by Dad's words. I hate to betray his trust.  
I just wanted to get out of apocalypse training without a fuss.  
Living through Weirdmageddon was more than enough for me.  
After that mess, couldn't we relax and let things be?"_

 _Wendy's attention was drawn by the window on the right.  
Every part of the Northwest Mansion was bathed in glorious light.  
Its new owner, Fiddleford McGucket, had really turned things around.  
To properly celebrate, he threw a Christmas party for the whole town!  
Mingles of classes, both rich and poor,  
engaged with each other without signs of bore.  
Gathered at a distant table were a collection of Wendy's chums,  
Thompson, Tambry, Nate, Lee, and even Robbie V., that gothic bum.  
They sat bored out of their minds, their attention spans were wearing thin,  
without their fearless leader to swoop in for the win.  
The plucky cashier's mischievous mind usually created their favorite dares, games, and pranks,  
and now without her around, the mellow atmosphere really did stank!  
Surprisingly enough, Thompson threw his fist down!  
"Why are we just sitting here? Sure, Wendy's not around,  
but would she want us to sit around and pout?  
No way! She'd tell us to get off our butts, no doubt!  
C'mon, guys. Let's make our Wendy proud!  
We'll cause a little mayhem and make this party loud!  
He lifted his half-drank cup of punch into the air,  
as the rest of the teens joined in with the cheer:_

 _"For Wendy!"_

 _Wendy backed away from the third open portal,  
"I'm not really sure if I get this moral.  
Sure, all three present views have people that miss me,  
but their Christmases seemed to be better if I left things be."_

 _The pixie bobbed her head,  
"Oh, Wendy. Try looking at this way instead.  
All of these groups would be better if you were there,  
but in your absence, they refuse to let their Christmas fall into despair.  
They celebrate what they have, versus what they have not.  
Now, with that said, maybe is there something more to Christmas that you thought?"_

 _"Perhaps…" Wendy said, stroking her chin with curiosity.  
"Great!" The fairy proclaimed. "There's one last thing to see!"  
However, Wendy's interests soon broke away,  
as the door called "Christmas Future" made her want to stay.  
"Hold on!" The sprite cried out. "There's nothing interesting in here, I bet,  
and I'm not sure if Santa wants you to see that yet."_

 _"It's nice to want things." Wendy opened the door and smirked.  
"What's Santa hiding now, that big, colossal jerk?"  
To Wendy's amazement, she was back at Santa's workshop.  
The lines of elves went on building toys non-stop.  
The big man himself surveyed his on-going mission,  
as he stood at the assembly line with his newest addition.  
Santa patted the shoulder of the pigtailed elf with a familiar, striped uniform.  
Her frozen, freckled beam was anything but the norm.  
The elf didn't even so much as breathe or blink,  
as her hands blindly manufactured new goods with a "clink, clink, clink!"_

 _Wendy covered her mouth, "No! No way! This cannot be!  
I know that mindless little elf – that's me!"_

 _Wendy's stomach grew nauseous as she stumbled away.  
Her pixie friend pleaded with her to stay.  
"Please, Wendy. You don't understand!  
This possible future is not Santa's ultimate plan!"  
But Wendy refused to hear her anymore.  
"Stay away from me! Let me outta this place!" she roared._

 _The blackened arena shattered like broken glass,  
Wendy was back in front of Santa and his elven class.  
The force of the mighty ginger had broken Santa's spell,  
as her outburst made him land on his jingle bells._

 _Wendy marched towards him with a nasty glare,  
until she was pulled back by her ankle snare.  
"I've had it with you, fat man! You've hit my last nerve!  
Now, it's about time that I give you what you deserve!  
You kidnap me and bring me to this awful place,  
and then you turn me into one of the elven race!  
You threaten me with child labor? So what? Big deal!  
Do you know the geezer I work for? He's an even bigger heel!  
Then, you dare to invade my mindscape and some,  
and pervert my most private of memories, you scum!  
You wanna make me your slave? I'd want you to try.  
Come a few steps closer, and I'll be happy to give you a black eye!  
I'll give you one last chance to change your mind. I'm too generous, I know.  
I'm not asking, I'm telling: LET-ME-GO!"_

 _The other elves remained silent as Santa stood upright.  
His demeanor had changed to that of sorrow, not fright.  
"My poor Wendy Corduroy. I feel I failed you.  
For on this night, I was unable to give you Christmas spirit renewed.  
Your anger and pain is just way too great,  
I fear this time, ol' St. Nick had arrived too, too late.  
Your fate has been sealed. I'm sorry it sounds so grim.  
I have no other choice but to leave you to…him…_

 _With that, Santa and his elves took their leave,  
leaving Wendy stunned as she couldn't believe.  
"Where are you all going? What? The truth was too much to bear?  
Didn't anyone hear me? I said lemme outta here!"_

 _Now, left by herself and trapped in the empty hall,  
Wendy slumped down into a saddened ball.  
Her green eyes grew watery, but she refused to cry.  
To give her captors the satisfaction, the girl would rather die.  
The worse thing of all no one knew she was stuck here,  
as they enjoyed their Christmases without worry or care._

 _"I can't really blame them." Wendy said, with her chin on her knees.  
"I know I have hang-ups about Christmas. That part's solely on me.  
Still, I wish that someone could look beyond their bliss,  
and see that I was missing and things were amiss."_

 _Little did Wendy know, as her mind began to wander,  
a new portal formed on the assembly wall beyond yonder.  
She didn't notice the window leading away from this nightmare,  
until she could make out familiar voices she'd know anywhere._

 _"Dipper? Dipper? Are you in there?  
Where are you now? To where did you disappear?"_

 _Wendy climbed on top of the conveyor belt,  
as the icy feeling in her heart started to melt.  
Dipper Pines sat on his bed, with a wireless phone in hand,  
as his twin Mabel charged into the room with a demand.  
"Dipper, come join the party! What's the matter with you?"  
He explained to his sister, "Mabel, it's Wendy. I can't get through!  
All I wanted was to wish her a Merry Christmas,  
but no one seems to know where she is!  
I tried the Shack, and Tambry and Nate and the other teens.  
And no one picks up at her home. The phone just rings and rings!  
I don't mean to be overprotective, Mabel. I know I have a choice,  
but I'd feel so much better if I could hear Wendy's voice."_

 _"Oh, Dipper," Mabel sat next to him on his bed.  
"Quit being such a big worry-head.  
Wendy's a big girl. She can handle things by her own.  
The last thing she'd want you to do is make this overblown.  
It's not a big deal. Christmas isn't Wendy's thing.  
If she wanted to be here, she would have given us a ring.  
Remember last summer? Here, I'll give you a clue.  
You can't force someone to do something they don't wanna do.  
Now, come on, already! Turn that frown upside-down!  
Let's get back to the party before anyone notices you're not around!"_

 _And with that, Mabel went back on her way,  
but in spite of her speech, Dipper still wanted to stay.  
His parents' party was filled with family friends unknown,  
and older cousins that rather spend more time on their cell phones.  
The thirteen-year-old felt like a stranger in his own house,  
wishing for something that could keep his Christmas spirit from being doused._

 _He sighed, and lurched forward with a sigh.  
"Mabel's right, but I couldn't help but try.  
I know Wendy's busy, but I still wish she would have come.  
Maybe then, this stupid party wouldn't be so lonely and dumb."_

 _It was then that Dipper made a wish that he hoped would travel far:  
"I hope you're having a Merry Christmas, Wendy…wherever you are."_

 _A heartbroken Wendy rested her forehead against the portal's seem,  
when at long last, her eyes started to teem.  
A line of tears traveled down each cheek as she started to cry.  
She didn't think of herself, but of her special little guy.  
"I'm so sorry, Dipper." Wendy sniffled. "I really made things a mess.  
I wish I could make it right. I should have said "yes.""_

 _"Wendy?"  
"Dipper?"_

 _"AAH!" The boy screamed as he flew off the bed,  
convinced at first, he was hearing voices in his head.  
But sure enough, in a wavy window above his room,  
contained the image of Wendy, with a sense of doom._

 _"Wendy?" Dipper asked again. "Is it really you in there?"  
"Of course it is, dork." She said from the portal in mid-air._

 _Dipper moved towards the vision of his crush,  
and upon seeing what was wrong, his voice went in a rush.  
"Wendy, what's happened? Why aren't you tall?  
Your hair! Your ears! And what's the deal with that weird hall?"_

 _Wendy wiped her face and started to plead her case.  
"Dipper, you gotta help me get out of this place!  
You're not going to believe this! I'm at the North Pole!  
Santa kidnapped me, and he won't let me go!  
He's forcing me to make toys and talk to Christmas ghosts.  
It's like he's trying to find what irritates me the most!"_

 _Dipper immediately sprung to the rescue.  
"Don't worry, Wendy. I'll find a way to save you!"  
He examined the portal up and down and side-to-side,  
But hadn't an idea how to reach his secret love without a guide.  
After a few minutes, Dipper stood on his bed,  
as no more plans danced around in his head.  
"I'm really sorry, Wendy. I haven't a clue.  
I've never seen anything like this before. I don't know how to help you."_

 _The two teenagers stood on different borders of time and space,  
as they met for the first time in months face-to-face.  
Dipper placed a hand against his side of the plane,  
The shine in his eyes had vanished and drained.  
"I – I wish you were here with us…with me…"  
Wendy set her palm against her devotee's.  
"I do, too, buddy. Trust me.  
Right now, there's no other place I'd rather be…"_

 _All of a sudden, as though a Christmas blessing,  
their hands were able to touch through the barrier's meshing!  
Wendy and Dipper's fingers entwined as they laughed in disbelief,  
the ability to make physical contact came as such a relief._

 _Dipper said, "How can this be? I don't understand.  
Is this really happening? Or is it sleight of hand?"  
Wendy squeezed harder, "Hey, kiddo? Not at all trying to be rude,  
but Santa's coming back soon, so please, pull me though, dude!"_

 _With that, Dipper tightened his grip and gave a tug,  
His noodle arms pulled Wendy into a huge bear hug.  
Once the slender redhead was more than halfway through,  
their worries returned with a threat somewhat new._

 _"What's wrong now?" Dipper strained. "Of all the dumb luck…"  
"I almost forgot, Dipper." Wendy explained. "I'm stuck!  
That old fat jerk snapped a cuff on my foot super-tight,  
to make sure I'd stay in his crummy workshop all night!"_

 _Dipper wouldn't stop trying. "There has to be something I can do.  
There's no way I'd ever give up on you!"  
Though the kind words touched Wendy deeply in this situation out of whack,  
a second later, she could feel something try to pull her back.  
"No!" Dipper dug his heels deep into the blankets of his bed.  
"Don' t think this is over! I'd rather drop dead!"_

 _"Dipper! Don't let go!"  
"I won't!"_

 _Both Dipper and Wendy screamed as they were pulled into the wormhole,  
They landed back at Santa's workshop back at the North Pole,  
where Santa awaited with a horrific beast by his side,  
a ten-foot, horned demon, a so-called protector of yuletide.  
It was bearded and dressed in tattered clothing,  
its appearance was terrifying and somewhat loathing.  
The screams of the damned came from a container on its side.  
It held a wooden paddle, meant to tan wicked hides.  
Upon seeing this monster, the partners-in-crime shrieked,  
holding each other in terror as their knees became weak._

 _Santa shook his head, "Wendy, I've tried my best to make this right,  
but I feel there's nothing I can do to have you see the light.  
There's only one way to curb your attitude so pompous.  
I introduce to you, the Christmas monster known as the Krampus!_

 _The fanged behemoth unleashed an unearthly roar,  
that even managed to shake the whole floor.  
It took a hooved step forwards in its quest, far from trendy,  
to claim the soul of the wicked child known as Wendy._

 _"Wait!"_

 _Dipper shielded his still-ensnared sweetheart,  
He held his arms outwards, ready to do his part.  
The tiny boy's eyes met with his one-time rival,  
"Santa…" he greeted, thinking only of Wendy's survival.  
"Dipper…" Santa replied in the same, sober tone.  
"So, how goes those "Anti-Santa" traps in your home?"  
"You already know," Dipper grimaced, "That they're far from okay,  
but that's not the reason I'm here today.  
I don't have all the details, but I think I know enough.  
Please let Wendy go, and we'll be gone without a huff!  
I know at first, Wendy seems aloof and really tough.  
But she's so much more than that! Take it from this cream-puff!  
I get that Christmas spirit is your thing. That's okay and fine.  
If it's such a big deal, then what about mine?  
There is nothing I want more than to have Wendy to come home with me,  
so I ask you kindly, can't we please just let things be?  
I don't have a leg to stand on. But still, I'll beg this of you today:  
Please, Santa. Don't take my Wendy away!"_

 _Dipper turned back to see Wendy slightly blushing.  
He corrected the mistake he made by rushing._

 _"I mean, "Don't take Wendy away!"_

 _Santa and his pet gave each other a quick look,  
Their combined decision no more than a split second took:_

 _"NO!"_

 _The Krampus crept by Wendy, as she froze in a trance,  
as Dipper fought back with a second chance.  
"All right! You want a bad kid to give your curse?  
What if I could name someone even worse?  
A person that definitely deserves your type of misery?  
Here's a thought. How about you take me?!"_

 _"Dude, don't!" Wendy said. "You really need to shut up now!  
If you keep going, you'll end up as this thing's Christmas chow!"_

 _But Dipper ignored his crush's protests,  
and began to list off his sins and confess.  
"I've lied, cheated, and stole too many times,  
and that's only the beginning of my crimes!  
I beat up a gang of gnomes and marked them for dead.  
I fought living wax statues and cut off Larry King's head!  
I raised zombies up and left those secret agents to die,  
and made my sister, Pacifica, and even Wendy cry.  
I won't fight you, creature. I'll admit I made my own bed.  
I'll ask you a second time, leave Wendy, and take me instead!"_

 _The Krampus licked his lips with a sense of glee,  
truly fascinated by Dipper's dirty laundry.  
He changed course to add Dipper to his collection,  
as Wendy dashed in front to offer her protection._

 _"Ain't going to happen, ugly! Not no how, or no way!  
Lay a claw on that kid, and I swear you're going to pay!  
If you want Dipper, you'll have to go through me first!  
So, come on, tough guy! I'm prepared to take your worst!  
If anyone deserves a decent Christmas, it's Dipper, my boy!  
And it's gonna happen, or else, my name's not Wendy Corduroy!"_

 _To Wendy and Dipper's surprise, both tormentors began to laugh.  
Santa and Krampus supported each other so they wouldn't split in half.  
The elder's smile returned, "See, Wendy? I knew you would come through!  
Your act of sacrifice shows your Christmas spirit has been truly renewed!  
Santa's deed has been done. There's no further need for this.  
You two are free to go and enjoy Christmas bliss!"_

 _Wendy raised an eyebrow, worried if there was another trick to be found.  
"Seriously?"  
Santa snapped his fingers a third time, as her shackle opened and fell to the ground.  
"Seriously."_

 _Dipper and Wendy walked to the portal shining so bright,  
as Wendy realized something still wasn't quite right.  
"Santa, my man, I really don't mean to stall,  
but before we go, can you please make me tall?"_

 _Dipper elbowed his friend, "I dunno. I think I like you better this way."  
"Please, Dipper, don't give him ideas." Wendy whispered with dismay._

 _Santa let out another joyful laugh, "Oh, I almost forgot, my dear.  
When you go home, your natural height will return, so have no fear."  
He and the Krampus offered a wave as the duo traveled back to California.  
"Have a Merry Christmas! But if not, you can't say we didn't warn ya!"_

 _Back in Piedmont, Wendy and Dipper landed back in his bedroom,  
as she discovered she was no longer fitted in elven costume.  
Wendy's lumberjack clothing and height were rightfully restored,  
as the portal closely behind them, hopefully forevermore.  
Relieved, they rushed in for a snuggly embrace,  
their hearts still racing from escaping such a crazy place._

 _Dipper looked up at Wendy, "Are you sure you're alright?"  
"Thanks to you, buddy." She grinned and held him tight.  
"I don't know what to say, Dipper. Tonight, you really came though."  
"Oh, it was nothing." He blushed. "If reversed, I'd know I could count on you."_

 _Their touching reunion was suddenly interrupted,  
as from the doorway, a shrill squeal erupted:  
"Ohmigosh!" Mabel grabbed her cheeks. "You're really here!"  
She wrapped around Wendy's waist as the much-taller girl rubbed her brown hair.  
"I knew I heard your voice! Did you change your mind?"  
Wendy turned to Dipper as she was caught in another bind.  
"Actually, Mabel." Dipper started. "Wendy wanted to surprise us.  
She spent all day and night traveling here on a small bus."  
Wendy followed along with Dipper's white lie about her stay.  
"I hope I'm not too late to join you guys on Christmas Day?"  
"What? No way!" Mabel exclaimed with excitement and great cheer.  
She flew from the room, "Hey, everybody! You won't believe who's here!"_

 _With the two following along at a safe distance,  
Wendy gave Dipper a love tap, "Hey, thanks again for the quick assistance."  
"No biggie." He said with an embarrassed modest.  
"But if I can ask, are you sure you're ready for all this?"  
She threw her arm around her favorite little dork.  
"Of course I am, but now, let's get to work!  
I have something special to share with you two. Call it an old family recipe:  
Chocolate-frosted Christmas trees with just a pinch of sesame."_

 _As they rounded the corner, Mabel teased, "Hey, you two! Guess where you're below?  
You guys are right under the mistletoe – "_

* * *

"O-kay! That's enough right there!"

Wendy leaned forward on her knees as Dipper remained cross-legged on the colored rug on the floor. They looked up at Soos, dressed in a Santa cap, as he read from a selection of his fanfiction in Stan's recliner.

"Wow…" Dipper rested a heavy head against his fists. "I really didn't believe Soos when he said he made a Christmas story starring us, but there it is…"

"What's the matter?" Soos asked with a disappointed look. "You guys didn't like my Christmas rhymes?"

"No offense, Soos." Wendy threw out an arm in outrage, "But that story was kinda sexist, don't cha think? Why was I the one kidnapped? And Dipper saving me? Isn't that sorta cliché?"

"Well," Dipper held a finger up. "There was that one time at the Dusk2Dawn…"

"Exactly, buster! One time! Check the rescue scorecard, pal! I guarantee I have more saves checked off than you. Bet on it! And you really think Santa can take me on? Let 'im try! I'll punch him in the mistletoe, and break my foot off in his ho-ho – "

*CRASH!*

A thunderous crash could be heard on the Mystery Shack's roof. The sound made all three freeze in their tracks.

"Um," Dipper mumbled. "What was that you were saying, Wendy?"

"I – I," The lumberjane rambled nervously. "Like I was saying, maybe we should take a break, and get some hot cocoa and cookies, and see if there's any wholesome Christmas TV specials on."

"Good idea!"

"Sounds like a plan!"

The boys and Wendy jumped up and left the room, pressed together back-to-back. Their eyes searched every corner, in fear of a possible yuletide attack.

* * *

 _"And from this point here, our story finally concludes.  
Have a Happy Holiday, my friends. And remember, __Santa's always watching you…"_


End file.
